Archive for June, 2010

Courtroom Joke…

Lawyer: “What’s the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up?”

Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?'”

Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”

Witness: “My name is Susan.”


Be True to Your Wife…

A married man and his secretary had an affair. One day they both made love all afternoon. Exhausted, both fell asleep & woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed up & asked his lover to rub his shoes outside in the grass and dirt. She did so. He put on his shoes & drove home.

‘Where have you been?’ his wife questioned.

‘I can’t lie to you; I’m having an affair with my secretary’ he replied.

‘We made love all afternoon.’

She looked down at his shoes & said: ‘You lying bastard!’

You’ve been playing golf!’ Isn’t it.

Courtroom Quotations…

Lawyer: “Dr, did you check for a pulse before you did the autopsy?”

Witness: “Nope.”

Lawyer: “Blood pressure?”

Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”

Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “So, there is a chance that the patient was alive when you did the autopsy?”

Witness: “No chance at all.”

Lawyer: “How are you so sure, Doctor?”

Witness: “Because his brain was on my desk in a jar.”

Lawyer: “But still there’s a chance that he was alive?”

Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”