Lawyer : Doctor, did you check for a pulse before you did the autopsy?
Doctor : No.
Lawyer : Did you check for blood pressure?
Doctor : No.
Lawyer : At least for breathing?
Doctor : No.
Lawyer : So, there is a possibility that the patient might have been alive when you started the autopsy?
Doctor : No.
Lawyer : How could you be so sure, Doc?
Doctor : Because his brain was placed on my desk in a jar.
Lawyer : But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
Doctor : Oh yeah. It’s possible that he could have been alive & practicing law somewhere.
Category: Uncategorized
A married man and his secretary had an affair. One day they both made love all afternoon. Exhausted, both fell asleep & woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed up & asked his lover to rub his shoes outside in the grass and dirt. She did so. He put on his shoes & drove home.
‘Where have you been?’ his wife questioned.
‘I can’t lie to you; I’m having an affair with my secretary’ he replied.
‘We made love all afternoon.’
She looked down at his shoes & said: ‘You lying bastard!’
You’ve been playing golf!’ Isn’t it.
A man boasts to a friend about his new hearing aid machine, ’This is the most expensive one I’ve ever had. Very much advanced and it cost me $3,500.’
His friend asks, ’What kind is it?’
The man says, ‘Half past four.’
A man was smoking at the airport and a gentleman arrived & asked him – “How much do u smoke/day”.
Smoker: Why?
Man: If you have collected the money you have smoked, the plane in front of you would’ve been yours.
Smoker: Is that plane yours?
Man: Nope.
Smoker: Thanks for your advice. That plane is MINE.
Moral: Too much of advice is injurious to health.
The smoker is none other than, our great Vijay Mallya…
